Have you ever needed an extra push to be brave?
A persistent voice telling you to just try?
to just trust?
Yesterday, as I was watching my boys, first at gymnastics and then later at their Living Stations, I was struck by the clear moments of absolute trust before me.
Like the moment of trust when my son lifted his feet off the ground and believed his coach would not let him fall…
Like the moment of trust when another Son lifted His feet up onto the cross and believed His Father would not let him fall…
I see trust and courage modeled by others all the time.
I see others demonstrate all the time such faith in discernment and in a Father who will not let them fall.
So why do I find it so hard?
Thinking about this question yesterday led me to write this about the God who never gives up.
I’M GOOD THANKS
Standing on the shore,
I hear a voice say:
“Would you like to swim a while
in the big, vast ocean?”
Confidently but a bit quietly I utter:
“No thanks, I’m good.”
Again, I hear:
“Are you sure you don’t want to go in
and explore the ocean’s depths?”
A little less confidently and
a bit less quietly I utter:
“No, I’m good, thanks.”
Still the question comes again:
“Why don’t you dip a toe in at least?”
At this question,
my voice fades as I have no objections left
and I walk gently, carefully to the shore.
I dip one toe in…
and then another.
“Well, this isn’t THAT bad,”
I tell myself.
“Why not a foot to accompany that toe?”
the persuasive, mildly annoying voice comes again.
So, I dunk one foot
and then another.
Then, taken by the ease of the journey thus far,
I put a whole leg in unprompted.
One whole leg goes in and then another,
until half of me is submerged.
“I can do this,” I think.
But then, a jellyfish brushes my leg,
gently alerting me to his presence,
to his dominance in this space,
and all my resolve disappears.
I dart back out to the shore
cursing the voice for all
it’s nagging, persuasive questions.
Unaffected by my choice words,
even before I’ve truly caught my breath,
the voice comes once more
with another, even more earnest question:
“Are you ready to try again?”
© 2022 Gretchen Crowder
