I love mornings.
It took years for me to understand that I was at my best if I went to bed early and woke up early. Basically if I shift a couple hours from night to morning, everything seems to go better.
So, currently, I wake hours before the sun. I move around my house quietly, vaguely aware of the dark sheet covering the sky outside. The darkness persists in fact (most of the school year) until we are loaded up in the car and ready to head to school. It is then that I’m finally greeted by morning and all her beauty.
I used to pause each morning in our alleyway and drink in for a minute the hues of red and orange and yellow peaking up over the fences. I’d point it out to the boys and say: “Look at what beautiful colors! Did you know creation did that?”
When they were really young I was always struck by their genuinely awed responses to my question: “Mommy, I didn’t know the sky could be so pink!”
Now, they’ve seen it a bunch of times… so many times in fact that I fear it’s gotten ordinary. Every once in awhile, though, they’ll surprise me by pointing it out to me instead. “Look mom! Did you see the sky?”
I love this quote by Mary Oliver because it reminds me that every time I see the darkness fade and the hues of pink, red, and yellow creep across the sky… I have the chance to see God at work.
It’s really messy right now. The world feels so… messy. I’m tempted to ask God to show those identity papers almost daily. I imagine maybe you are too? I want to yell: “God fix this please!”
And sometimes I do… because I know God doesn’t want me to shy away from what I feel or what I want to ask for. God wants to be there for all of it…. The fear, the doubt, the questioning, the longing, the joy, the beauty, the laughter.
So this morning I am reminding myself to pause and look at the light. Not just the light that will be creeping over the fences as my minivan moves slowly down the alley… but also the light that’s shining all around us in those whose work and existence bring God near.