Today I’m looking for the light.
Yesterday morning, on the way in, I got a text that my oldest’s school was cancelled… which meant, my day was cancelled. At first I was bothered, but it was actually a light in many unexpected ways for me today. I worked at home while he did his favorite thing – watch cartoons.
Later, he and I bought groceries and he insisted on helping me carry them in and put them away in the kitchen. And I finally went to the endodontist to ask about a tooth that was hurting and had been weird for 10 years!
Turns out, the dentist had missed a extra canal during the root canal 10 years ago… so I needed another root canal. When the endodontist said “So are we doing this.” I had the freedom to say “go ahead, do it now.” 10 year problem worked on because of a surprise afternoon of freedom.
I know that all that’s happening with Covid-19 is scary, disappointing, schedule altering… and it will definitely impact people economically and physically… it already is. And it’s heartbreaking.
I definitely can’t ignore that but maybe, just maybe, being forced to stop and slow down can also be a light. I’m sure I’ll find more reasons to be frustrated, annoyed, cabin-feverish as this goes on. I know more disappointments and real people contracting a real illness will happen. After all they just canceled the NBA season.
But maybe the way forward is to look for the light instead of the fear.
Because light… it’s all around us.
This poem by Mary Oliver is my prayer today, that we may see the light even in the darkness:
“Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled—
to cast aside the weight of facts
and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking
into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing—
that the light is everything—that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and falling.
And I do.”
How can you look for light in the darkness today?⠀