Today I took my first trip out of town since being diagnosed with Addison’s disease three months ago.
I considered not going on this trip several times, particularly back in January when I was still recovering from crisis and trying to figure out how this new reality was going to work.
I AGONIZED over my decision – should I stay or should I go? (I probably drove a few people quite crazy with my indecision.)
But then, several people including my husband said to me some form of: “Unless you want to stay home for the rest of your life, you are going to have to figure it out sometime… Why not now?”
Their words gave me pause.
So often, I let fear get the upper hand. Sometimes, fear just delays me a bit. But sometimes, it keeps me from going places, from making changes, and even just letting myself be happy.
Fear has a hold over me that most other things don’t.
Luckily, however, I’m as stubborn as a mule – and I refuse to let fear have the last word.
So, I got on a plane today.
Now I didn’t do it without a lot of probably over the top preparation. First, I alerted the directors of the retreat and sent them all the “just in case” protocols. Then, I got a letter from my doctor explaining what needs to be done if I find myself needing to go to the ER (particularly bc not all ER docs have heard of Addison’s). Then, I got a new red backpack (it’s becoming my signature color these days) and filled it with snacks, salty electrolytes, plenty of meds, vitamins, and my emergency shots.
Finally, I said a few prayers for good measure.
I might have OVER prepared but I’m HERE.
I showed up and will continue to show up because the truth is… I’m far from the only person weighed down with labels they didn’t choose… and if they aren’t going to be sitting around making excuses for why they can’t do something or be something…
… then neither am I.
… and, I hope… neither are you.
Because you are stronger than you think.