Opening the door to hope

This summer I decided to take an online Introduction to Book Writing course. It took me months to turn the decision over in my head – Do I have enough time? Would this add joy or stress? Is God calling me to consider writing more than just weekly reflections at this time? 

In the end I decided those were the questions this course was designed to help me answer. So I said a little prayer and I enrolled. This past week, the course began with video call with the other participants. I was so nervous. I do not like video calls. And then, on the call we also were supposed to reflect together on this threshold moment we were experiencing – this moment when we were on our way to something new. As a group of seven little windows on a screen, we closed our eyes together and contemplated the wonder and beauty of this moment.

Out of character for me, I kept opening my eyes checking to see if others were still “in the moment” but then, I found myself drawn into the imagery. I saw myself standing on the doorway of our first home. In front of me, the home was just as we first experienced it – walls a sea of white just waiting to be painted with all that was to come. As I stood there, I saw the walls begin to transform – white morphing into a sea of colors. In this first house, both of us had decided that we had always had walls that were painted for us and walls that were usually white. So we painted every room a different and unique color. There was bright blues and silvery grays and brick reds. 

As I continued to look in front of me, I heard God telling me – “Look at all the blessings I have given you since you first stood on this threshold unaware of what was ahead.” A new job, a marriage, a son and then twins, a second masters degree… I also heard God telling me “Look at all you have learned and all you have walked through. Stop and wonder at it. See the grace and the love in each moment.” I stood and I wondered in that moment with God as I felt God inviting me to step forward and see what was ahead knowing that wonder and love and hope were readily available to me if I just embraced them.

Today is Trinity Sunday. The Trinity is not something we were meant to understand with our heads. Instead, it was something we were meant to experience in our hearts. The Trinity is wonder, a pouring out of love. Experiencing the love is the Trinity is like letting the light shine through and show us all the beauty, hope, and grace have experienced and continue to experience even in the midst of our humanity. One of my favorite quotes from Anthony de Mello, S.J. is “Behold the one beholding you and smiling.”

Let us today, on Trinity Sunday, stand on the threshold between the old and the new and behold God smiling at us ready to lead us forward in hope.

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