Joy is not made to be a crumb.
It’s odd to still feel a bit of anxiety and stress even now that the semester is ending for me and my boys. What in the world do I have to be stressed about? Really?
Ok, there are things.
In fact, there are things each one of us are still holding onto right now that give us permission to be a little anxious… maybe a lot anxious. And thanks okay.
But how can we find the joy in the midst of it all? After all, this is a joyous season! It’s a season of rebirth, a season of new life, a season of gifts and gratitude.
Yesterday, my twins brought home these angels. I remember when my oldest did this same project in kinder (it’s in a post from two years ago actually). When I saw these angels smiling at me from the bag they came in, I felt an unexpected surge of joy. I immediately called to mind my oldest son’s angel and thought – this. This was the same. They all did this.
There are things I miss from the kinder experience this year, things I remember watching or doing with my oldest. But if I were to ask the twins how their year has gone, I know they would be bursting, over flowing even with joy.
God let me use them as my guide.
This morning, my prayer is a poem from Mary Oliver. It’s a poem I’ve prayed with a few times before. It’s a reminder that worry, anxiety, and stress may always be there… but so is joy.
And joy is not meant to be a crumb.
“If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it.
There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be.
We are not wise, and not very often kind.
And much can never be redeemed.
Still life has some possibility left.
Perhaps this is its way of fighting back,
that sometimes something happened better than all the riches or power in the world.
It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins.
Anyway, that’s often the case.
Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty.
Joy is not made to be a crumb.”