Oh man, I struggle with patience!
… especially when it comes to my boys sometimes.
Yesterday, I was sitting at my kitchen table trying to get some work done for the upcoming week. My work was spread everywhere, my headphones were securely in my ears, and my “I’m concentrating over here” look was plastered all over my face.
I thought it was crystal clear. All the signs were up to indicate “mom is working over here.” I thought it was a good time as all the boys were off entertaining themselves.
But apparently mom in working mode is like a magnet to 7 year old boys. It is always that precise moment when their antenna go off and the urgency of a story they just have to tell overwhelms them.
“Mom, mom…” one said as he waved his hand at me yesterday a few minutes after I had settled into work. “Kid, this will take half an hour if you let me be, ok?” I responded through the music blaring in my ears and my now gritted teeth.
“But mom… mom… I just really need to tell you just one quick thing.” Sigh.
Over and over again yesterday, one seven year old after another broke my concentration until I had to give up. And nothing they had to say, as it turns out, was even close to the realm of urgent.
In moments like these, I lack patience.
I grit my teeth, I grumble, I wonder aloud what it takes to be left alone for a few minutes …
… and despite knowing that these moments are fleeting… and despite being told over and over again by parents who’ve been there that I’ll regret it some day…
I can’t help it. In those moments, I really suck at patience.
Perhaps the desire to be patient has taken to my bones but is still traveling up to my heart. After all, lessons like these were Mary Oliver’s to learn and write about later in life, much like a parent who looks back years later at their moments of impatience and declares “Oh yea, I regret those a bit.”
Maybe the lesson for me here is to give myself a bit of a break on my many patience fails.
Maybe the lesson here for you is to give yourself a break on yours.
We will get there, step by step.