Yesterday as I was driving around getting our weekly groceries, I found myself looking over this past year with a critical eye…. well really, I was looking at me over this past year with a critical eye.
All sorts of questions popped into my head:
Did I do enough?
Did I listen enough?
Did I speak enough?
Did I shut up enough?
Did I act enough?
Did I act quickly enough?
On and on, the questions came in my head overshadowing the songs on the radio. So many questions that all centered around one word “enough.”
I let the questions flow until I came back home and entered into the rhythm of life. I forgot for a time about the questions…
That is until I read today’s readings… and in particular this line: “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.”
These words reminded me of the truth: I am not enough.
Now don’t worry, this isn’t a settling into low self esteem or a bucking of all the wisdom that says I am. I believe wholeheartedly that I am loved exactly as I am, no matter what. I believe we all are. I believe that we are uniquely formed and uniquely gifted and uniquely called. I believe we are capable of extraordinary things if we let ourselves be.
But I also believe all of that is not enough.
Because all that I have and all that I am is ineffective without the grace of God to guide me. All I have and all I am runs short without the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.
Me and God together – we are enough.
You and God together – you are enough.
There is such beauty in that relationship – the one that always supports, always makes up for what we lack ourselves, always works to unite us to one another.
May this Feast of Pentecost remind us of all God wants to grace us with so we can say “enough” to the questions of the past and “I’m ready” to the answers of the future.