Parenting is nothing like I imagined as a child.
First of all, I imagined myself with curly headed, blue eyed children. Oh and one redhead because that’s what my favorite cabbage patch doll had! Silly dominant genes! Second, I never imagined that my boys would have hearing loss. Third, I never dreamed about parenting during a pandemic.
Parenting is definitely much different than a young girl imagined with her cabbage patch kids and play crib. It’s more complex and it’s more beautiful in its complexity.
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing about my straight brown hair, brown-eyed boys – not even their hearing. They are exactly what God intended for my family.
But in the muck of a pandemic with difficult choices or lack there of ahead – parenting right now is nothing I signed up for.
When I looked at the Catholic readings for today, some questions leapt out at me. The first reading asks “What am I asking of the Lord right now?” The second reading asks “What is the Lord asking of me?” And the third reading asks “What am I seeking?”
Tough questions to answer right now when I just want to go back to my childhood room with my cabbage patch dolls and imagine freely what adulting would look like.
So what am I asking of the Lord?
The Lord is inviting me to look deeper in my heart and ask for what I find there. Which I guess means asking that everything works out in MY favor isn’t exactly right.
What is the Lord asking of me?
This question isn’t about the Lord asking me something simple. Instead it’s a complex call that might include some suffering but also rewards I can’t start to fathom.
What should I be seeking?
Ignatius answered this one best “Our only desire and our one choice should be this: I want and I choose what better leads to God’s deepening his life in me.” Dang Ignatius though – always challenging me to seek the more.
What is your heart saying you need?
What great plans does God have for you?
How can you orient your choices to a relationship with God that’s beyond compare?
I pray we all are graced with the wisdom to discern these questions and the comfort that God is present in all the answers.