There are mixed emotions in me today.
Today starts our family three days of celebration. We start with my oldest son’s birthday today, the twins birthdays tomorrow, and my husband and my anniversary Thursday.
My oldest son was super excited to be eight today. He woke up and ate his requested breakfast of a cheese omelet and opened one gift (though he did request the rest as soon as he got home today). He even put on the “birthday boy” button I bought him which made me happy though I think he was just “eh” about it. It’s exciting having a birthday. It’s beautiful, actually, so see him turn a whole year older and almost see him the moment he absorbs that transition from head to toe.
That’s the beauty.
But there is also the terror.
This week so much is going on that is weighing on us even if we don’t realize it. We are all in a state of limbo. As much as I want to cherish this week with my family, I also would like to speed it all up to get us to a safe and less overwhelming future ahead.
So this morning as I battle a range of emotions and still hope to give my son a great birthday ahead… this poem from Rainer Maria Rilke is my prayer. I’ve used this many times before, and it speaks to me differently each time I read it. May it speak to you exactly as you need it to today as well:
“God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Flare up like a flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.”
Lord, take our hands today and journey with us through every moment. Amen